I have never liked the phrase, "today is the first day of the rest of your life", because in reality, every day is the first day of the rest of your life. Yet, here I am in a position where that phrase is exactly what fits my life. You see, I have been waiting for my life to be perfect before I start writing again. I started this blog many years ago, and I knew it was exactly what I needed to do. I am a writer. That is how I process things. I love to type out my feelings, or better yet, I absolutely love the feel of that perfect pen gliding along the paper of my journal as I write out my emotions. But then life got hard and I put just about all of my writing aside except for occasional journal writing.
Today I was challenged to use my talents and abilities that I know I need to be using. I think about writing every day. I know that I have a deep rooted need to write, but I get so busy with my life so I don't do it. It just gets put aside. Today I am challenging myself to make time to do it. Today my life is so very not perfect. It is so far from perfect I don't know if I could see perfect with binoculars.
I am a single mom with four kids. I live with my parents. I am getting divorced from a man I was married to for almost 20 years. After we were separated for several months, I fell in love with a man who lives two hours away. That relationship didn't work out, so here I am starting life over yet again. So, here goes. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. And I am in control of my life... no, wait I am so very not in control of my life. I am trying for the first time to actually let Jesus have control of my life.
Ok, before you judge and say that I should have already let Jesus have control of my life years ago, let me explain. I have given Him control of my life many times, but I keep taking it right back. You do the same thing. Don't deny it. You pray, but then you go about your life changing nothing. I know because I do the same thing. I pray and tell Jesus about all my troubles. That is what I called giving Jesus control. But what I am learning now more and more is that I have still been focusing on my problems.
Three years ago, I wrote about Peter walking on water, so I love that I have come full circle and God is still teaching me the same lessons. He has put this passage on my heart again. First of all, it is amazing that Peter walked on water. People focus on the fact that he fell, but the fact that he stepped out of the boat is amazing.
One day last week, I read this passage and I was wondering how it was possible for a man to actually walk on water. I still have way too much baby weight from my four pregnancies and I am very buoyant, but there is no way I could ever walk on water. I am going to fall into the water no matter how much I try to walk. So how did Peter do it?
First, Jesus told him to do it. I don't think every person can walk on water in every circumstance, but I believe with my whole heart that if Jesus tells you to do something, he is going to create a situation where you will step into a firm foundation. Jesus is your foundation. It doesn't matter where you are, you can always rely on Jesus to catch you if you obey Him.
How did Peter have a foundation in water? Water is liquid, there is no substance to hold any human no matter what their size or weight. So where did the substance come from to hold him up? Faith.
11 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Peter had no doubt that when Jesus told him to step out of that boat, the water would hold him. Except it wasn't really the water holding him, it was the foundation of Jesus Christ through faith. His faith in Jesus became the substance that held him up in the water.
As long as his eyes were focused on Christ, that foundation was strong. As soon as he looked away, the foundation on which he was standing vanished and he fell. That is where I have been. I have been living my life in the boat, telling at Jesus about these huge waves all around me, but as soon as I step out, I keep focusing on the waves instead of Jesus and so therefore the foundation of faith that should be supporting me is nonexistent and I fall immediately upon stepping out of the boat.
My goal is to become so focused on Jesus that I have a firm foundation to live my life upon. He can give me stability in the middle of the sea in a storm, as long as I keep my eyes focused on him. I am not 100% there yet, but I am trying. But, my love, if I take my eyes off of him, he is right there holding out his hand to pull me back up. He is there for you, too. It doesn't matter who you are, what you have done, he is there for you and he loves you.
So make today the first day of the rest of your life. You can do that every day. Every day, you can make a decision to keep your eyes on him. It has to be a daily decision, sometimes hourly. Waves get huge and scary, and it is so tempting to gawk at them, scream and cry, or run back to the safety of the boat. But, He is always there with open arms waiting to welcome you with love.