It's been a little while since I have written anything for this blog.  It's been a while since I have written anything at all, honestly.  Life has had a lot of ups and down for me over the past few years. Of course, the icing on the proverbial cake was the previous year of craziness that we all experienced in 2020. I am hopeful for a better year in 2021 but just have a feeling we are in that scene in every horror movie where you think that the thing that was attacking everyone is dead, but then it comes back with a vengance for one more huge fight. I know that dosen't sound very hopeful, but my hopefulness lies in the fact that all the troubles I have gone through in my life have prepared me for what is to come.  COVID is just another trial for me to overcome.  

I have to be painfully honest with you, friend, I haven't been consistent with my walk with the Lord.  I haven't been attending church regularly or reading my Bible regularly.  I have struggled with depression and anxiety.  Besides the craziness of 2020 that we all have experienced, I have also struggled with issues that were out of my control with my kids and my job.  My business shut down for two months in the spring and plunged me into a funk.  Then as time went on that funk gave way to depression.  I know, not very hopeful, but while I was in this place, it made me re-evaluate what is important to me. I realized I needed to spend more time in God's word and more time with my family.  I found an app to download onto my phone that has lots of Bible devotion plans and started reading passages every day.  I wish I could say that I immediately was elevated out of the depression and my life was perfect after the first day of Bible reading, but it wasn't.  After months of reading, I still struggled with anxiety and depression.  But friend, sometimes the Word of God is more like a slow growing seed than a shot in the arm.  I have cried out to Him to fix everything.  I prayed daily for my life to be fixed. But it didn't change.  I did.  

One morning I read a passage about the fruit of the spirit.  When I read that, I started to question myself and wondered what fruit I am showing right now.  Depression and anxiety are absolutely not from God's spirit.  It really got to me.  It's been over a month since I have stepped foot inside my home church, but we actually went today.  The second song that we sang really spoke to me.  I had never heard it before, but it was a song about anxiety lifting when we praise the Lord.  I felt like the song was written just for me.  As I sang along to the songs during worship time, God gave me an image in my mind. In this image, I was a baby and I was reaching up to Him because some things around me were frightening me and I wanted to be lifted up away from them.  He picked me up and held me in His arms away from the things that were scaring me.  It gave me such overwhelming peace that I haven't felt in a really long time. 

Then after worship time was over, we had a video from a missionary living in Moldova and he reminded me of a verse I have known for a long time but I haven't thought about in a while.  It was really good to have that reminder. "Enter his gates with thanksgining and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name." Psalms 100:4 

When we are thankful, it opens the gates to praise Him and get into His presence. That is where we find peace from the storm.  I realized that instead of focusing on my problems, I need to focus on being thankful for the good in my life.  I have breath in my lungs.  I have beautiful children and a roof over my head. I have a job and can pay my bills.  Those are all things to be thankful for! 

My life won't always be perfect, but I can have peace in Him always.  

As my pastor read in his sermon today, "For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen to the glory of God through us." God promises peace when we come to Him, and I lift Him up when I tell you about what He is doing for me.  I hope this encourages you at least a little bit.  If you would like to share something you are thankful for or something God has blessed you with even during a rough year, please comment and tell me about it!