My last post was about how the church has hurt me in the past. I know some of you may be thinking... "So why do you even still go to church?"
Well, a church is not God himself. Every church is made of humans. It should be led by God, but unfortunately many times, it is not. Those are what I call Social Clubs. I mentioned in my last post that I am extremely selective about where I attend. I have learned that there are churches out there that are full of true believers. Now, I will admit that even in these churches, there are people who may not be a true believer, but if a church as a whole is following God to the best of their ability, that is where I want to be.
"How did you figure that out?" You may be thinking. I am a recovering Social Club member. I was part of a Social Club and I was just as judgmental as the rest of them until I went through what I wrote about in my last post. If you didn't read it, here it is: The Social Club.
I stumbled about for years after I was rejected by that church. It was not a church that made me see the truth, but a friend. I wasn't really close to this woman, and I don't keep in touch with her now, but she changed my life. She was a person who had a relationship with Jesus. More than just following an empty religion. She shone with His Light. Everywhere she went you could see the peace that surrounded her. Her life wasn't perfect, she didn't have a lot of money and she struggled sometimes to pay her bills. But she had Hope and Peace that was supernatural. I found that it came from spending time in God's presence. I began to want what she had. I didn't know why or how to have that, but I wanted it desperately. I needed it. I knew about the Bible. I had grown up in church. I knew scripture. But I didn't know how to shine like she did.
The scriptures became real on the night that Jesus came to me. I was lying in bed, crying because of things that were in my life had become so overwhelming. I was depressed and scared that my life was falling apart. I prayed a simple prayer, "Help." Jesus showed up in my room. I couldn't see him like I can see my kids sitting here in the room with me. I felt him. As soon as he entered the room I felt his presence. He put his arms around me and comforted me. He promised me that things would be hard, but that He had a plan for my life. He picked up all the things I had been holding on to so tightly and that were hurting me and took them. In my mind, I saw a huge trash can and he threw away all of those things. Jesus is real and he loves you. He can do this for you too, if you ask Him.
Monday, June 29, 2015
Saturday, June 27, 2015
The Social Club
My stomach is in knots at the moment over something that happened yesterday that spiraled out of my control.
Here is my post:
Here is my post:
There
are so many people who claim to be Christians that spew so much hatred
to the gay and lesbian community and to different races. I read this
verse this morning and I feel that it really speaks volumes to the way
true Believers of Jesus should behave.
9 Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. 10 Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him[b] there is no cause for stumbling. 11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes. 1 John 2.
Apparently that struck a chord in a lot of people, because I don't usually get a lot of varying comments on my posts. This one I did. There were many people who liked and agreed with it, but there were several that either didn't, or had a lot to say about it. I respect everyone's opinion and I am glad that everyone posted because it made me think a lot more about what I was really saying.
There are many people who have had bad experiences at church and I am one of them. I am someone who really needed the love of Christ in the worst way and people in the church didn't help me. I am hoping to change that. So many churches have strayed so far away from what God intended church to be. I call them Christian Social Clubs. The meet on Sunday morning in their pretty dresses and suits with their hair, make up, and shoes perfectly adorned. They sit with their 3.5 kids and sing 4 hymns, then listen to exactly 30 minutes to a man drone on about something in the Bible and then they go home. The rest of the week they act as if God doesn't exist. This makes me sick. I really can't stand this. These are the people I was talking to in my Facebook post. These are usually the people who are first to judge and they are most often the people who need to change more than anyone else.
I am very very extremely picky about where I attend church. It has to be a place where they dig into God's word and strive to invite His presence into the worship service. It must have outreach and missions to help those who need it. It must be a place where someone can feel welcome and loved. That is what I look for in a church. Why? Because I have been on the receiving end of judgement from churches.
I used to attend one of these Social Club. It was great until I needed help. I enjoyed all of the benefits of the "Club" such as the youth group and activities that we did. I have mentioned in past posts that I had experienced abuse in my past by someone who is not a member of my family. After high school, I hadn't told anyone about the abuse and I was really struggling with life. I think I must have felt safe as long as I was in school, but once I left home and started college, life was a challenge and I had no direction. I was really struggling in my classes after being a good student in high school. I changed my major about as often as I changed my socks. I shaved my head. I slept a lot and at that point I was swirling in and out of depression. I couldn't see a future for myself. I didn't want to die, but I wouldn't have minded going into a coma for several years. I never did drugs or drink because I didn't like the feeling of being out of control of myself, which I felt invited more abuse. I went back to the Social Club I had been attending all through high school. The church that I felt I could trust. I was shunned by the people I thought I could turn to in time of trouble. I didn't even know why I was hurting. I had buried the past so deep that I didn't realize that it was the cause of my pain until years later. The people of that church saw a girl who looked different with her strange clothes and shaved head and didn't want anything to do with her.
No one said a word to me, but if looks could kill, I would have died a thousand deaths. I know that this experience that I went through is mild compared to what others have gone through. I have other experiences at different churches that have not been pleasant, but that is for another day. The point I want to make is that if you are human, you should be welcome at church. You never know what someone is going through in their personal life. Just love them.
I have worked with many gay and lesbian people and I am related to a beautiful woman who is a lesbian. Jesus loves them. I love them. If any of them show up at my house (which they have many times in the past) I would do my best to make them feel welcome and loved. I am not going to exclude them from my life because I don't agree with their lifestyle. I have felt judgement myself and I don't like it. I don't want to do that to anyone else. Period.
9 Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. 10 Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him[b] there is no cause for stumbling. 11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes. 1 John 2.
Apparently that struck a chord in a lot of people, because I don't usually get a lot of varying comments on my posts. This one I did. There were many people who liked and agreed with it, but there were several that either didn't, or had a lot to say about it. I respect everyone's opinion and I am glad that everyone posted because it made me think a lot more about what I was really saying.
There are many people who have had bad experiences at church and I am one of them. I am someone who really needed the love of Christ in the worst way and people in the church didn't help me. I am hoping to change that. So many churches have strayed so far away from what God intended church to be. I call them Christian Social Clubs. The meet on Sunday morning in their pretty dresses and suits with their hair, make up, and shoes perfectly adorned. They sit with their 3.5 kids and sing 4 hymns, then listen to exactly 30 minutes to a man drone on about something in the Bible and then they go home. The rest of the week they act as if God doesn't exist. This makes me sick. I really can't stand this. These are the people I was talking to in my Facebook post. These are usually the people who are first to judge and they are most often the people who need to change more than anyone else.
I am very very extremely picky about where I attend church. It has to be a place where they dig into God's word and strive to invite His presence into the worship service. It must have outreach and missions to help those who need it. It must be a place where someone can feel welcome and loved. That is what I look for in a church. Why? Because I have been on the receiving end of judgement from churches.
I used to attend one of these Social Club. It was great until I needed help. I enjoyed all of the benefits of the "Club" such as the youth group and activities that we did. I have mentioned in past posts that I had experienced abuse in my past by someone who is not a member of my family. After high school, I hadn't told anyone about the abuse and I was really struggling with life. I think I must have felt safe as long as I was in school, but once I left home and started college, life was a challenge and I had no direction. I was really struggling in my classes after being a good student in high school. I changed my major about as often as I changed my socks. I shaved my head. I slept a lot and at that point I was swirling in and out of depression. I couldn't see a future for myself. I didn't want to die, but I wouldn't have minded going into a coma for several years. I never did drugs or drink because I didn't like the feeling of being out of control of myself, which I felt invited more abuse. I went back to the Social Club I had been attending all through high school. The church that I felt I could trust. I was shunned by the people I thought I could turn to in time of trouble. I didn't even know why I was hurting. I had buried the past so deep that I didn't realize that it was the cause of my pain until years later. The people of that church saw a girl who looked different with her strange clothes and shaved head and didn't want anything to do with her.
No one said a word to me, but if looks could kill, I would have died a thousand deaths. I know that this experience that I went through is mild compared to what others have gone through. I have other experiences at different churches that have not been pleasant, but that is for another day. The point I want to make is that if you are human, you should be welcome at church. You never know what someone is going through in their personal life. Just love them.
I have worked with many gay and lesbian people and I am related to a beautiful woman who is a lesbian. Jesus loves them. I love them. If any of them show up at my house (which they have many times in the past) I would do my best to make them feel welcome and loved. I am not going to exclude them from my life because I don't agree with their lifestyle. I have felt judgement myself and I don't like it. I don't want to do that to anyone else. Period.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig
A while back I posted about putting my kids into public school after homeschooling for 5 1/2 years. I had my reasons, as you can read about in that post.
We decided to wait until the new year began so that they could start fresh. I thought it was the answer that I was looking for. I knew I would have to go to work and I thought it would help me. It would give me a babysitter for 8 hours so I could work and my kids would learn the things that they needed.
Then school started. My oldest loved it. The other two... not so much.
When we were homeschooling our kids, we had the freedom to teach what ever we wanted. The kids could ask questions about anything and we could find the answers together. We had lots of time read beautiful literature and talk about what we learned. My kids could spend hours playing music on their guitars, they loved being outside in nature exploring and observing what was around them, and they could create artwork without having a time limit. We raise rabbits, and they were able to be involved in that, too. They were involved in planting and harvesting our vegetable garden. The kids absorbed it all and learned so much.
At school, life was pushed into the box of what "they" wanted my kids learn. My kids were expected to sit for 8 hours a day while a teacher taught them about life. Instead of experiencing the life cycle of plants by watching them grow in our garden, they saw it on a piece of paper. Instead of counting real money in their hands, they counted it on a piece of paper. Instead of learning about the moon and stars from sitting outside observing them and talking about it, they saw a picture of it on a piece of paper because they had to be in bed in time to get up for school the next morning. Instead of learning songs about the multiplication facts, they had a piece of paper.
I know what you are thinking. Why don't you do all of these things after school, or on the weekends?
Well, this was our schedule:
6:00 Wake up
7:00 Catch the bus
8:00 School Starts
4:00 Get home-start homework
5:00 Play outside if homework is done(it happened occasionally)
6:00 Eat supper
6:30 Clean up
7:00 Finish homework if needed or read (or watch a show on tv)
8:00 Take bath
9:00 Go to bed
If your kids are in school, this may seem normal to you, but to me it seems like prison for a young kid, especially the ones who are right brained, creative thinkers like two of mine are. During the week they hardly had time to play outside. During school, they got about 15 minutes of recess. On the weekends they were so worn out from the week that they didn't want to do any of the fun stuff that they did when they were home. They did play outside some, but it just wasn't the same. When kids get a lot of time to play, they engage their imagination. This is so important in their development. Imagination helps them process what they are learning.
I have heard so many people say that home school kids have no chance to become socialized, but I don't understand how public school actually gives kids a chance to socialize. Teachers yell at the class to be quiet all day. They have 15 minutes to play outside, and part of that is walking in a quiet, straight line to and from the playground. At lunch they are not allowed to speak. They must eat in silence. They are expected to sit still and be quiet all day. Where is all this social time that everyone says homeschool kids are missing out on? Also, to expand on this social issue, if anyone has ever been around homeschooled kids, they will see that socialization is not an issue. In every homeschool group I have ever been a part of, the kids were healthy and vibrant. Not a single one was withdrawn and awkward like the picture that people paint of homeschooled kids. Also, every child that I have experienced that has been schooled at home has a great relationship with their parents. They have an entirely different view of adults. Kids in school are treated much like prisoners and the teachers their wardens, controlling every minute of their day. Kids at home have more of a partnership with their parents. Even the most strict of parents have the respect of their children, and have a deeper relationship than is able to be experienced when kids are in school 8 hours of the day.
I agree that occasionally there are those parents that don't do what they need to do when homeschooling their kids. Those same kids would probably be neglected or abused if they were in school, too. In school and out, unfourtunately there are bad parents, and homeschooling doesn't create bad parents. Bad parents are just bad parents. From my experience, a majority of homeschool families are very healthy and do the things they need for their kids. The neglectful families are the vast minority. Most people school their kids at home so that they can give their children a better life, not to avoid responsibility.
People have asked me if I feel that I can give my kids everything they need by schooling them at home. Do traditionally schooled kids get everything they need? Do teachers cover everything in every textbook every year? Are there no school kids who fall through the cracks? Do schools instill a love of learning? I may miss out teaching my kids something, but they may miss out on something in school, too. However, I can create a love of learning in my kids that is much too often missed in public school. That alone is worth keeping my kids home. Since they have been home, we have studied Pterodactyls, lunar halos, clouds, direction (NESW), Sacagawea, Lewis and Clark, among other things. We have done math with games on the computer and in books. Spelling, grammar, vocabulary, and reading have been meaningfully studied with literature. My kids have not rolled their eyes or resisted anything because it is what they want. They love it. When my parents came for a visit, my 6 yo told my mom details of what we have been studying. When he was in school, when we would ask him what he was learning, all we would get would be a shrug and "I don't know."
My oldest is still in school. It is her choice. She is a left brain thinker and thrives in a school environment. She is also older and can sit quietly for 8 hours without a problem. She has the attention span for a long school day. As long as she in enjoying it, I will support her decision even though I miss having her at home. And for you doubters, I have to brag a little. When she took her last round of tests, my girl that was homeschooled for the previous 5 1/2 years tested higher than almost all of her peers who have been in public school their whole lives. Her reading comprehension is at an 11th grade level. She is in 7th. She made all A's and one B on her first report card. She was invited into the Beta Club. She has 270 AR points in reading, and there is only one girl in the whole school with more. Most of the other kids have 0-10. So I think I have been doing something right!
We decided to wait until the new year began so that they could start fresh. I thought it was the answer that I was looking for. I knew I would have to go to work and I thought it would help me. It would give me a babysitter for 8 hours so I could work and my kids would learn the things that they needed.
Then school started. My oldest loved it. The other two... not so much.
When we were homeschooling our kids, we had the freedom to teach what ever we wanted. The kids could ask questions about anything and we could find the answers together. We had lots of time read beautiful literature and talk about what we learned. My kids could spend hours playing music on their guitars, they loved being outside in nature exploring and observing what was around them, and they could create artwork without having a time limit. We raise rabbits, and they were able to be involved in that, too. They were involved in planting and harvesting our vegetable garden. The kids absorbed it all and learned so much.
At school, life was pushed into the box of what "they" wanted my kids learn. My kids were expected to sit for 8 hours a day while a teacher taught them about life. Instead of experiencing the life cycle of plants by watching them grow in our garden, they saw it on a piece of paper. Instead of counting real money in their hands, they counted it on a piece of paper. Instead of learning about the moon and stars from sitting outside observing them and talking about it, they saw a picture of it on a piece of paper because they had to be in bed in time to get up for school the next morning. Instead of learning songs about the multiplication facts, they had a piece of paper.
I know what you are thinking. Why don't you do all of these things after school, or on the weekends?
Well, this was our schedule:
6:00 Wake up
7:00 Catch the bus
8:00 School Starts
4:00 Get home-start homework
5:00 Play outside if homework is done(it happened occasionally)
6:00 Eat supper
6:30 Clean up
7:00 Finish homework if needed or read (or watch a show on tv)
8:00 Take bath
9:00 Go to bed
If your kids are in school, this may seem normal to you, but to me it seems like prison for a young kid, especially the ones who are right brained, creative thinkers like two of mine are. During the week they hardly had time to play outside. During school, they got about 15 minutes of recess. On the weekends they were so worn out from the week that they didn't want to do any of the fun stuff that they did when they were home. They did play outside some, but it just wasn't the same. When kids get a lot of time to play, they engage their imagination. This is so important in their development. Imagination helps them process what they are learning.
I have heard so many people say that home school kids have no chance to become socialized, but I don't understand how public school actually gives kids a chance to socialize. Teachers yell at the class to be quiet all day. They have 15 minutes to play outside, and part of that is walking in a quiet, straight line to and from the playground. At lunch they are not allowed to speak. They must eat in silence. They are expected to sit still and be quiet all day. Where is all this social time that everyone says homeschool kids are missing out on? Also, to expand on this social issue, if anyone has ever been around homeschooled kids, they will see that socialization is not an issue. In every homeschool group I have ever been a part of, the kids were healthy and vibrant. Not a single one was withdrawn and awkward like the picture that people paint of homeschooled kids. Also, every child that I have experienced that has been schooled at home has a great relationship with their parents. They have an entirely different view of adults. Kids in school are treated much like prisoners and the teachers their wardens, controlling every minute of their day. Kids at home have more of a partnership with their parents. Even the most strict of parents have the respect of their children, and have a deeper relationship than is able to be experienced when kids are in school 8 hours of the day.
I agree that occasionally there are those parents that don't do what they need to do when homeschooling their kids. Those same kids would probably be neglected or abused if they were in school, too. In school and out, unfourtunately there are bad parents, and homeschooling doesn't create bad parents. Bad parents are just bad parents. From my experience, a majority of homeschool families are very healthy and do the things they need for their kids. The neglectful families are the vast minority. Most people school their kids at home so that they can give their children a better life, not to avoid responsibility.
People have asked me if I feel that I can give my kids everything they need by schooling them at home. Do traditionally schooled kids get everything they need? Do teachers cover everything in every textbook every year? Are there no school kids who fall through the cracks? Do schools instill a love of learning? I may miss out teaching my kids something, but they may miss out on something in school, too. However, I can create a love of learning in my kids that is much too often missed in public school. That alone is worth keeping my kids home. Since they have been home, we have studied Pterodactyls, lunar halos, clouds, direction (NESW), Sacagawea, Lewis and Clark, among other things. We have done math with games on the computer and in books. Spelling, grammar, vocabulary, and reading have been meaningfully studied with literature. My kids have not rolled their eyes or resisted anything because it is what they want. They love it. When my parents came for a visit, my 6 yo told my mom details of what we have been studying. When he was in school, when we would ask him what he was learning, all we would get would be a shrug and "I don't know."
My oldest is still in school. It is her choice. She is a left brain thinker and thrives in a school environment. She is also older and can sit quietly for 8 hours without a problem. She has the attention span for a long school day. As long as she in enjoying it, I will support her decision even though I miss having her at home. And for you doubters, I have to brag a little. When she took her last round of tests, my girl that was homeschooled for the previous 5 1/2 years tested higher than almost all of her peers who have been in public school their whole lives. Her reading comprehension is at an 11th grade level. She is in 7th. She made all A's and one B on her first report card. She was invited into the Beta Club. She has 270 AR points in reading, and there is only one girl in the whole school with more. Most of the other kids have 0-10. So I think I have been doing something right!
Saturday, August 23, 2014
What if...
The other day I was scrolling through my Face Book feed and I saw a meme of a woman holding a Gucci purse and an iPhone. In the picture, the woman was looking into her purse searching for something. The caption read, "I just hate when I can't find my Food Stamps." I read it, then kept scrolling through my feed without giving it a thought. Then later, for some reason, it popped up in my head and I started thinking about it. I understand what it is saying. Sure, there are tons of people who abuse the system. But then, there are the people who really need and rely on Food Stamps to feed their family.
I started thinking about who this woman was. I know she is fictional, but I just let my mind wander into different scenarios that could have taken place.
What if she just signed a two year contract on her iPhone when her husband suddenly had a heart attack and wasn't able to go back to work. She can't afford to keep it, but she can't afford the termination fee, either.
What if the woman in the meme was sexually abused and suddenly had a mental breakdown and now can't work, but still somehow has to feed her six kids.
What if the lady in the picture has had her Gucci purse for ten years in a closet and only brought it out because she wanted to feel special.
What if the Gucci purse isn't even real and she got from a guy on the street who sold it to her for $3.
What if the iPhone is a hand-me-down from Uncle Bob, and it's disconnected so she can only use it with Wifi.
What if her husband had suddenly passed away, leaving her with three kids and a dog, and a huge house note that suddenly seems impossible to pay, but no life insurance.
What if her husband harmed himself serving our country overseas and the government refused to pay for his treatment. What if she works full time, but because he is disabled and can't work, now they can't even pay their house note and their electric bill on one income.
What if she and her husband both work full time, but still can't afford rent anywhere in the city in which they life. They have two kids who they hardly see because they are working so much, but they still are just scraping by.
What if she had seven kids at home and her hard working husband suddenly lost his job because of layoffs. He has been searching for jobs for months, but can't find anything.
What if no matter how hard she tries, she just can't find a job.
What if she is a married student and her life was perfect, but then her husband left her for what seems like no reason. She is so devastated that she fails her classes and can barely get out of bed, much less get a job.
What if she was too proud to go apply for help, and held onto the hope that her husband would be able to go back to work for too long and finally after seeing her kids go hungry, humbled herself and filled out the application, even though she used to be the kind of person to make fun of people who used food stamps.
What if she stays up all night crying because of her situation.
What if that woman is you? What if your perfect life suddenly fell apart and you only had $30 a week after rent and bills on which you had to feed your 2. 5 kids, your husband, and yourself, and somehow put gas in the tank so you and your husband can make it to work.
Things happen in life that we can't control. Not everyone who uses Food Stamps abuses the system. Sometimes they actually need them. I know, I am one of them. Some of these scenarios I have been through, some of them are variations of situations that I have seen people close to me go through. I thought I was immune to hard times, until I went through them. I never thought I would be someone who uses Food Stamps, I thought I was above it. I thought I could work hard and life would always be good... until it wasn't and it was spinning out of control. My life has been hard, and it still is, but I am glad I have gone through what I have because it has made me a stronger person. It has brought me closer to God, and that is something I wouldn't trade for any amount of money in the world.
Praise God for every blessing in your life. Pray for the woman ahead of you in line at the grocery store who has a Food Stamp card. Smile at her instead of getting impatient and stamping your foot. Your prayers and your sweet smile could make a difference in her stressful day.
I started thinking about who this woman was. I know she is fictional, but I just let my mind wander into different scenarios that could have taken place.
What if she just signed a two year contract on her iPhone when her husband suddenly had a heart attack and wasn't able to go back to work. She can't afford to keep it, but she can't afford the termination fee, either.
What if the woman in the meme was sexually abused and suddenly had a mental breakdown and now can't work, but still somehow has to feed her six kids.
What if the lady in the picture has had her Gucci purse for ten years in a closet and only brought it out because she wanted to feel special.
What if the Gucci purse isn't even real and she got from a guy on the street who sold it to her for $3.
What if the iPhone is a hand-me-down from Uncle Bob, and it's disconnected so she can only use it with Wifi.
What if her husband had suddenly passed away, leaving her with three kids and a dog, and a huge house note that suddenly seems impossible to pay, but no life insurance.
What if her husband harmed himself serving our country overseas and the government refused to pay for his treatment. What if she works full time, but because he is disabled and can't work, now they can't even pay their house note and their electric bill on one income.
What if she and her husband both work full time, but still can't afford rent anywhere in the city in which they life. They have two kids who they hardly see because they are working so much, but they still are just scraping by.
What if she had seven kids at home and her hard working husband suddenly lost his job because of layoffs. He has been searching for jobs for months, but can't find anything.
What if no matter how hard she tries, she just can't find a job.
What if she is a married student and her life was perfect, but then her husband left her for what seems like no reason. She is so devastated that she fails her classes and can barely get out of bed, much less get a job.
What if she was too proud to go apply for help, and held onto the hope that her husband would be able to go back to work for too long and finally after seeing her kids go hungry, humbled herself and filled out the application, even though she used to be the kind of person to make fun of people who used food stamps.
What if she stays up all night crying because of her situation.
What if that woman is you? What if your perfect life suddenly fell apart and you only had $30 a week after rent and bills on which you had to feed your 2. 5 kids, your husband, and yourself, and somehow put gas in the tank so you and your husband can make it to work.
Things happen in life that we can't control. Not everyone who uses Food Stamps abuses the system. Sometimes they actually need them. I know, I am one of them. Some of these scenarios I have been through, some of them are variations of situations that I have seen people close to me go through. I thought I was immune to hard times, until I went through them. I never thought I would be someone who uses Food Stamps, I thought I was above it. I thought I could work hard and life would always be good... until it wasn't and it was spinning out of control. My life has been hard, and it still is, but I am glad I have gone through what I have because it has made me a stronger person. It has brought me closer to God, and that is something I wouldn't trade for any amount of money in the world.
Praise God for every blessing in your life. Pray for the woman ahead of you in line at the grocery store who has a Food Stamp card. Smile at her instead of getting impatient and stamping your foot. Your prayers and your sweet smile could make a difference in her stressful day.
Friday, July 4, 2014
Walking on Water
This morning I read the passage in Matthew 14 where Peter walks on water. With everything that is going on in my life right now I can really relate to Peter in this passage. I have really been seeking God to heal my husband, and in a recent post I revealed my discouragement about the matter, relating my doubt to Thomas when he doubted whether Jesus had returned. This realization made me get to the heart of the matter. I have a lot of fear and trust issues. I have a hard time just trusting God that He has everything under control. I am afraid that if I am not in control of my life everything is just going to fall apart. I have a hard time giving things over to Him. When I pray, it is more like me giving orders instead of asking God what He wants to do in my life.
I need to have the courage of Peter and step out of the boat.
My pastor, Erik Hill, has said a couple times in different sermons that so many people focus on the fact that Peter fell into the water because he didn't have the courage to stand, but they are missing the fact that Peter was the only disciple brave enough to even step out of the boat. Many people overlook the fact that there were 11 more men who were sitting tightly in their seat and were scared when they saw Jesus walking on water. They actually thought Jesus was a ghost and were frightened. Peter stepped out of the boat. And walked!!
Peter called out to Jesus. It was Peter who initiated this walking on water encounter, not Jesus. Peter asked Jesus to call him, and Jesus gladly responded. Just like Thomas asked to see the scars on Jesus' hands and feet. It is up to us to ask Jesus to see Him move. Then we must walk. We walk and keep our eyes on Him. Peter was not standing on a solid foundation. He was standing on water. His faith was not in the water, it was in Jesus. For a few minutes it was Jesus holding him up, not the water. There is absolutely nothing in water that can hold up a human. I don't know how He did it, but Jesus walked on water and allowed Peter to do it, too. I can understand Jesus walking on water. As it says in John, Jesus was with God when the world was created. Jesus made that water at the beginning of time, and if He wanted it to hold Him up, He could do it. But then, Peter did it. That baffles me. It would be just like you or me walking on water. Jesus wants us to walk on water. I my never actually place my foot out of a boat and literally walk on water, but in this passage I learn that Jesus' abilities were not just for Him alone. He came to share what He had, and if I call out to Him, He will respond. In my circumstance, if I ask Him for something, He will answer me and call me out to come to Him. It is up to me to get out of the boat.
Peter sank. I know, it didn't last long for Peter. If I had a storm raging around me with huge waves, I would probably sink too! Peter could have trusted Jesus and walked all the way to meet him where He was, but it was a stinkin' scary storm! When Peter fell, he called out to Jesus and He was right there to pick him up out of the water. Life is hard! Right now I feel like I am sinking with huge waves all around me. Just when I feel one part of my life is under control, something else goes haywire. I kind of feel like the guy at the circus who balances all the spinning plates on poles. Just when one plate is spinning nicely, another one starts to waver and he has to go run to it to make sure it doesn't come crashing down. It can be a little overwhelming at times. Sometimes my attitude is not a perfect picture of love, joy, and peace, to say the least. Right now in the midst of my storm, I am calling out to Jesus to save me from the waves. This story is so encouraging to me at this moment in my life, because it tells me that Jesus is right there to pick me up. He is here holding out his hand to me to lift me up to him. He didn't make Peter swim back to the boat to teach him a lesson in humility, Jesus lifted Peter back up to walk back to the boat together. That gives me so much hope. Jesus won't leave me alone in the water to fend for myself. He will lift me up and help me back into the safety of the boat. This is not a story of Peter's shortcoming, but a story of Jesus' goodness and faithfulness. If you feel like you are sinking and the waves are all around you, lift up your arms to Jesus and He is right there for you, always.
I need to have the courage of Peter and step out of the boat.
My pastor, Erik Hill, has said a couple times in different sermons that so many people focus on the fact that Peter fell into the water because he didn't have the courage to stand, but they are missing the fact that Peter was the only disciple brave enough to even step out of the boat. Many people overlook the fact that there were 11 more men who were sitting tightly in their seat and were scared when they saw Jesus walking on water. They actually thought Jesus was a ghost and were frightened. Peter stepped out of the boat. And walked!!
Peter called out to Jesus. It was Peter who initiated this walking on water encounter, not Jesus. Peter asked Jesus to call him, and Jesus gladly responded. Just like Thomas asked to see the scars on Jesus' hands and feet. It is up to us to ask Jesus to see Him move. Then we must walk. We walk and keep our eyes on Him. Peter was not standing on a solid foundation. He was standing on water. His faith was not in the water, it was in Jesus. For a few minutes it was Jesus holding him up, not the water. There is absolutely nothing in water that can hold up a human. I don't know how He did it, but Jesus walked on water and allowed Peter to do it, too. I can understand Jesus walking on water. As it says in John, Jesus was with God when the world was created. Jesus made that water at the beginning of time, and if He wanted it to hold Him up, He could do it. But then, Peter did it. That baffles me. It would be just like you or me walking on water. Jesus wants us to walk on water. I my never actually place my foot out of a boat and literally walk on water, but in this passage I learn that Jesus' abilities were not just for Him alone. He came to share what He had, and if I call out to Him, He will respond. In my circumstance, if I ask Him for something, He will answer me and call me out to come to Him. It is up to me to get out of the boat.
Peter sank. I know, it didn't last long for Peter. If I had a storm raging around me with huge waves, I would probably sink too! Peter could have trusted Jesus and walked all the way to meet him where He was, but it was a stinkin' scary storm! When Peter fell, he called out to Jesus and He was right there to pick him up out of the water. Life is hard! Right now I feel like I am sinking with huge waves all around me. Just when I feel one part of my life is under control, something else goes haywire. I kind of feel like the guy at the circus who balances all the spinning plates on poles. Just when one plate is spinning nicely, another one starts to waver and he has to go run to it to make sure it doesn't come crashing down. It can be a little overwhelming at times. Sometimes my attitude is not a perfect picture of love, joy, and peace, to say the least. Right now in the midst of my storm, I am calling out to Jesus to save me from the waves. This story is so encouraging to me at this moment in my life, because it tells me that Jesus is right there to pick me up. He is here holding out his hand to me to lift me up to him. He didn't make Peter swim back to the boat to teach him a lesson in humility, Jesus lifted Peter back up to walk back to the boat together. That gives me so much hope. Jesus won't leave me alone in the water to fend for myself. He will lift me up and help me back into the safety of the boat. This is not a story of Peter's shortcoming, but a story of Jesus' goodness and faithfulness. If you feel like you are sinking and the waves are all around you, lift up your arms to Jesus and He is right there for you, always.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Random Thoughts
I thought I would touch base with you because I have been a little out of touch lately. Things in life are not always perfect and I have had some personal things that I needed to attend to, so my blog unfortunately had to be placed on the back burner for a while. The things I have been through the past few weeks have been difficult to go through, and although I can't share the details of what that was, I can tell you that God has really moved in my life and in my situation. I can really see God answering prayers that I have been bringing to Him daily. If there is something in your life that seems impossible, I can tell you that if you pray God will hear you.
I have a couple of random thoughts today. I don't really have a nicely planned theme for this blog post, just some thoughts from my day.
Today at church, there were two things that spoke to me and I want to share them. We had a guest speaker and something he said really jumped out at me. He was comparing satan's attacks in our daily lives to a lion. What he said was that a lion roars to stun his prey so that they are paralyzed with fear and he can attack. I started to think about this and we really live so much of our lives paralyzed with fear because of lies that satan whispers to us. Then my mind began to wander and I tried to figure out what animal or creature could represent God in this analogy. The lion is the king of the animals, right? So what is God in this scenario? A T-rex? A dragon? God is bigger than satan, so what is an animal that could paralize him? Then I realized that there is no animal that could compare. God is the creator the lion and is the king of the universe. To him a lion is an ant, a speck. There is no comparison. Once we realize that as Christians, we have the fullness of God living inside of us, we can come to the realization that when satan comes around to try to roar at us, there is no reason to be afraid. Satan is nothing but an ant that must flee when we resist him. God said it and satan has no choice. Don't let him keep you paralyzed, but live in the freedom of Christ!
Another thing that jumped out at me in church this morning was something my pastor said after the speaker was finished. He spoke for a moment about Thomas in the Bible. We all know him as "Doubting Thomas," but today, Pastor Erik had a fresh perspective about this man. Thomas may have doubted, but he was real about his unbelief. He didn't try to pretend to go along with the other disciples and say he believed when he really didn't. He had to see Jesus with his own eyes. When Pastor Erik said this, I realized that I need to see Jesus move in my life in the area of healing. I need to see healing in my family. I need to see it with my own eyes. I believe that Jesus can and will heal people still today, but I have been discouraged because I haven't seen it with my own eyes. I need to get real about my discouragement and just ask Jesus to move in healing in my family. I don't always have all the answers. I used to think that I did, but I am learning that the closer I get to Jesus, that I really know nothing.
What is something that Jesus is showing you in your life?
I have a couple of random thoughts today. I don't really have a nicely planned theme for this blog post, just some thoughts from my day.
Today at church, there were two things that spoke to me and I want to share them. We had a guest speaker and something he said really jumped out at me. He was comparing satan's attacks in our daily lives to a lion. What he said was that a lion roars to stun his prey so that they are paralyzed with fear and he can attack. I started to think about this and we really live so much of our lives paralyzed with fear because of lies that satan whispers to us. Then my mind began to wander and I tried to figure out what animal or creature could represent God in this analogy. The lion is the king of the animals, right? So what is God in this scenario? A T-rex? A dragon? God is bigger than satan, so what is an animal that could paralize him? Then I realized that there is no animal that could compare. God is the creator the lion and is the king of the universe. To him a lion is an ant, a speck. There is no comparison. Once we realize that as Christians, we have the fullness of God living inside of us, we can come to the realization that when satan comes around to try to roar at us, there is no reason to be afraid. Satan is nothing but an ant that must flee when we resist him. God said it and satan has no choice. Don't let him keep you paralyzed, but live in the freedom of Christ!
Another thing that jumped out at me in church this morning was something my pastor said after the speaker was finished. He spoke for a moment about Thomas in the Bible. We all know him as "Doubting Thomas," but today, Pastor Erik had a fresh perspective about this man. Thomas may have doubted, but he was real about his unbelief. He didn't try to pretend to go along with the other disciples and say he believed when he really didn't. He had to see Jesus with his own eyes. When Pastor Erik said this, I realized that I need to see Jesus move in my life in the area of healing. I need to see healing in my family. I need to see it with my own eyes. I believe that Jesus can and will heal people still today, but I have been discouraged because I haven't seen it with my own eyes. I need to get real about my discouragement and just ask Jesus to move in healing in my family. I don't always have all the answers. I used to think that I did, but I am learning that the closer I get to Jesus, that I really know nothing.
What is something that Jesus is showing you in your life?
Sunday, May 4, 2014
To Those Who Have Ever Been Hurt by the Church
In America today, the Christian church as a whole has acted horribly to those who do not normally attend. It seems that if you do not fit into what the church deems acceptable, most American churches do not accept you, and even go as far as to insult and condemn people. A while back, the pastor at my church, Grace Community, mentioned something that really challenged me. He challenged our church to apologize on behalf of the church to those in our lives who have ever been hurt by the church.
I really took this to heart because I have been on the other side of this equation myself. I have been hurt and neglected, so I began to try to figure out how I could apologize to people. I really struggled with how to go about it. I mean, how do you really bring this up in a conversation? So, I decided to write about it because I am not that great of a speaker. So, here goes:
I am sorry.
I am sorry if I have ever hurt you personally. I am sorry if anyone who calls themselves a Christian has ever hurt you. As a Christian, I am truly very sorry that people in the church have mistreated you. I am actually appalled at the way people who are not Christians have been treated by those who are.
I honestly think that Jesus himself would not like the way that the church as a whole has treated those on the "outside." When he was here on this earth, he was the hardest on the Jewish leaders, and I think he would do the same thing in our churches today. He would be hanging out with gay men and lesbians who have been left out of church to let them know that He accepts them and loves them abundantly. He would reach out to strippers, pimps, and prostitutes to let them know how absolutely precious they are to Him. He would go out and give food to the homeless and just sit and spend time with them to let them know that even though they don't have a cent, they are valuable to Him. He would accept everyone who doesn't feel comfortable walking into America's church. He would welcome people of any race and religion, laughing and crying with them as they experience life together. There are the rare few Christians who do these things, but for the most part, the church has been very neglectful of these things. Myself included. I don't always reach out to others when I should. I am so sorry.
Take a look at our token verse, you know, the one every good Christian and/ or wrestling fan knows: John 3:16.
God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son. Anyone who believes in him will not die but will have eternal life.
That verse is not just for church members who pay their tithes and warm a seat once a week for an hour. It says anyone, and I truly believe that it really means anyone. If you are human than this verse applies to you.
Now take a look at the following verse: God did not send his Son into the world to judge the world. He sent his Son to save the world through him.
You can argue with me if you would like, but I believe that it is not the job of the church to judge you. As Christians, it is our job to love you. If you have experienced anything other than love, then in my opinion, you have just experienced empty religion. Religion judges. Jesus loves.
Please accept my apology.
I really took this to heart because I have been on the other side of this equation myself. I have been hurt and neglected, so I began to try to figure out how I could apologize to people. I really struggled with how to go about it. I mean, how do you really bring this up in a conversation? So, I decided to write about it because I am not that great of a speaker. So, here goes:
I am sorry.
I am sorry if I have ever hurt you personally. I am sorry if anyone who calls themselves a Christian has ever hurt you. As a Christian, I am truly very sorry that people in the church have mistreated you. I am actually appalled at the way people who are not Christians have been treated by those who are.
I honestly think that Jesus himself would not like the way that the church as a whole has treated those on the "outside." When he was here on this earth, he was the hardest on the Jewish leaders, and I think he would do the same thing in our churches today. He would be hanging out with gay men and lesbians who have been left out of church to let them know that He accepts them and loves them abundantly. He would reach out to strippers, pimps, and prostitutes to let them know how absolutely precious they are to Him. He would go out and give food to the homeless and just sit and spend time with them to let them know that even though they don't have a cent, they are valuable to Him. He would accept everyone who doesn't feel comfortable walking into America's church. He would welcome people of any race and religion, laughing and crying with them as they experience life together. There are the rare few Christians who do these things, but for the most part, the church has been very neglectful of these things. Myself included. I don't always reach out to others when I should. I am so sorry.
Take a look at our token verse, you know, the one every good Christian and/ or wrestling fan knows: John 3:16.
God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son. Anyone who believes in him will not die but will have eternal life.
That verse is not just for church members who pay their tithes and warm a seat once a week for an hour. It says anyone, and I truly believe that it really means anyone. If you are human than this verse applies to you.
Now take a look at the following verse: God did not send his Son into the world to judge the world. He sent his Son to save the world through him.
You can argue with me if you would like, but I believe that it is not the job of the church to judge you. As Christians, it is our job to love you. If you have experienced anything other than love, then in my opinion, you have just experienced empty religion. Religion judges. Jesus loves.
Please accept my apology.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)